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Hoping this is just a phase...   
03:02pm 08/08/2003
 
mood: bitchy
...that I'm going through.

I seem to be quite bitchy, as a rule. I feel like I get easily irritated by everything lately. I am uncomfortable in my own skin and very much anxiety~girl. Sam and I went to the mall the other night and went halvsies on a bottle of some herbal remedy - 5HTP. Today is my third day on it and I can't tell I've even taken it. Maybe it's too early? I dunno.

Yahoo is picking up four birds today and the other four tomorrow night. I feel so frustrated with him. I don't even want to be around him. What a petty thing, really, but it has such power. Hopefully it doesn't get the best of us.

Another boring a$$ day at the shop. WHEN is it going to get better? It seems like I am constantly bored when I'm here. Grrrrr.....

I didn't realize what a chitty mood I was in until I started this entry. I'll try again later.

~Cyn		  
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That Was Close   
11:11am 06/08/2003
  Here I am going off about Yahoo and he walks right into my shop - bird in hand, of course. He is selling them to a local pet store - and as long as they are turning over at a decent rate, they are in and out of our house thatmuchfaster.

I'm still really frustrated with him. I think he believes that I won't stay this mad for long. I told him that he'd better start thinking of some solutions to this problem, because as long as he continues to purchase these birds, the PROBLEM isn't going away.

That's enough venting for now. On a good note, I sold two BeadzandBaublez.

~Cyn		  
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On The Verge...   
10:45am 06/08/2003
  ...of a breakdown. Yahoo and I had another blowout this morning. He is headed to St. Louis today to pick up FOUR baby macaws. These are IN ADDITION TO the four we're picking up in Chicago on Saturday. To make it worse, he went 50/50 on the eight with someone he's met three times in his life (he thinks it's better that way, since he only made half the investment). OKAY - we ARE NOT a pet store. We have a fairly nice set up for the babies, but just SUNDAY I went off because I think we have too many. I am a one pet kind of girl trying to adjust to the menagerie we've got going on. I like clean, I like organized, I like structure. It feels like like with Yahoo is constant flight - by the seat of HIS pants.

I suggested that he build a new garage (we need one anyway) with an addition on it to put the birds in. OF COURSE this idea was nixed because we'd have to heat and a/c the addition and that would be too expensive. HIS idea was to buy a new house. Okay... an addition is to expensive, but MOVING is logical (and cheaper)? I love living where we live - my shop is less than two blocks away. It's the closest you can come to a small town feel in the city where we live. I love having my shop here and for that reason, I love living here. I would be willing to consider a slightly bigger house OUT of the city, but I'm afraid that I would lose my local clientele who are supporting me BECAUSE they support the community. Plus I don't want to have to drive a cajillion miles to work evey day.		  
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Grrrr....   
05:32pm 05/08/2003
 
mood: irritated
Only I could delete an entire entry. I make myself so mad sometimes. I really had some world changing important things to say too!!!

I'm really tired - like I can barely keep my eyes open. Today has been a relatively uneventful day at the shop. I am praying for things to get busier - I'm making enough money to get by - and that's about it. Definitely no Jag in my future. I NEED to create more traffic!

No LaLa this morning for my daily walk. I am so NOT suprised.

Feeling antisocial tonight, like hanging out with Yahoo and that's it.

~Cyn		  
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Ugh...   
02:23pm 04/08/2003
  It's Monday and of course I am exhausted. Woke up in time to go tan this morning, but didn't work out, so I feel guilty about that. I need to work out for 45 minutes at least five times this week - need to prepare for Current River - it's coming up in less than two weeks.

LaLa didn't go to work on Saturday and The Committee had a lot to say about that. Personally, I almost feel like giving up on her. She obviously doesn't WANT to work and she doesn't have the accountability to get her a$$ up out of bed in the AM and go - she's been the same way for ten years and I always think she'll grow up and change. I love her like a sister - that's why I get as irritated as I do. I am not going to enable her any more - no more offering to pay her way if she doesn't have any money. Yahoo and I are struggling more than usual financially - I really can't even afford to pay for her.

Yahoo and I had a huge fight It was ugly, but I'll tell all about it another time, because I'm too tired to say anything more about anything right now.

~Cyn		  
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Summer Weekends....   
12:08pm 01/08/2003
 
mood: chipper
...are good times, aren't they? Today is Friday and life is good. Shanky and I are going shopping after work. We FINALLY got an Old Navy a couple of weeks ago, so we're checking that out and then going to the Yankee Candle Store. After, we'll eat at Famous Daves and probably smoke a bunch of cigarettes and drink a few toddies. One of LaLa's friends is turning 30 tonight and she wants us to go to Jimmy's Bar for that, but we really don't know him very well... besides, if I go to that, I knowdamnwell I'll stay out too late and I really want to avoid a bad hangover this weekend.

Tomorrow I don't think Yahoo and I have any plans. Sometimes those are the best days. I have to be at the shop until four. Maybe after that we can get some yard work done or get some things done around the house. Now that I only have Sundays off, I have a hard time getting motivated to be productive on the weekend. I always want to play, especially in the summertime.

We ARE going to mass on Sunday - that should be interesting. I was really suprised that Yahoo showed any interest in going. I'm really glad, though, that it is something he wants to do together. I was a little worried about going without him. I'm still not sure exactly how he feels spiritually (for that matter, I'm not exactly sure how I feel spiritually). This is definitely a new experience for both of us.

I rode my bike for about 40 minutes this morning. Got on the scale and not one pound had come off (of course). I HATE THIS TURNING 30 THING! I'm not even THERE yet, and I already feel like crap! What happened to my metabolism? I've done really good on the exercise thing - the eating has notbeensogood - but not all THAT bad. Grrrr.... I'm seriously contemplating taking up smoking full time again just for the boost to my metabolism.

Another weird day at the shop. Busy busy busy for the first hour and now dead. I hope more people bring in their fall stuff next week.

Well, I think I'll sign off for today.
Princess Cyn		  
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  imayaya
 
 

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